On December 1st, 2008 I joined Weight Watchers for the final time.  I was 27 years old, 5′ 6″ tall, and weighed 328.2 lbs. 

My world had become very small.  My mobility was horrible and it caused me to turn down social invitations constantly.  My greatest fear was getting stuck in a chair with arms.  I told myself I didn’t want to travel, that I was afraid of flying – when in actuality, I was afraid I would get asked to buy a second seat, or encroach on another persons personal space.

I started small – just focusing on eating my daily POINTS target (this was before the program changed) and I also started writing a blog.  You can find it here.

Eventually I incorporated exercise into my life – starting with walking, then jogging.  I took up Zumba, yoga, weight lifting and spinning.  I found that I loved being active and fit more than I liked losing weight.  It was a nice feeling.

One day, I hit my goal weight.  It came a little under two years after I started and was one of the proudest days of my life.

But then what?  My life got complicated in a way that had nothing to do with my weight and I stopped blogging.  I kept watching what I was eating, but not as closely.  I kept exercising, but not as often.  This is practically a tale as old as time.

I’ve gained back about 15-20 lbs.  I’m not terribly happy about it, but I’m not too bummed either.  After all, I’ve managed to maintain 153 lbs of my weight loss for over a year and that’s nothing to sneeze at.  But like I said, I’m not happy about it – this year of maintenance has not really been maintenance.  It’s been phases of gaining and losing.  I don’t like that AT ALL! 

I’m determined to find balance.  I know that blogging is the best tool for me to figure things out – I like the outlet that it provides and it makes me feel like I’m not alone. 

On a personal level, I’m a 30 year old, lesbian Canadian who lives near Toronto.  I vote, eat meat without shame and enjoy beer probably far more than I should.  I think I’m funny but other people probably think I’m crazy.  I’m ok with that. 

Stay tuned…

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